Sunday, November 15, 2009

The Naming of Cats

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have three different names.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey--
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter--
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover--
But the cat himself knows, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effableEffanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

- T. S. Eliot

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Damn it



DAMN IT!!

DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!!!!!!!

Randomness

Hmmmmmmm....

I think I'm getting the cold shoulder from a colleague and I've got no idea why.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

NSC and NSR

I sterted work at the NS Group in Feb this year. I was extremely happy to get in, even though, originally it was for once a week, which then turned out to be 4 days a week and now down to 2, sometimes 3 days. That aside, I was fortunate to get in because this job gives an overview of the entire medical records department rather than a section of it, which would have been the case in a large hospital. NSR gets about 5 discharges a week and NSC probably about 15. NSR gives me the opportunity to learn all the tricks of the trade of MRD. I get to be pretty much Queen B at NSR (it needs only one person to manage), which means I get to work with my own system and get the hang of it in my own pace, and I can also hum all the tunes out of me since I'm the only one in the room.

Yes, very nice. And so there's a "but". The most difficult part of this job is the coding. ... Well, not so much the actual coding process, but the stories you have to wade through to extract the codes. SubhanAllah! In the beginning I used to read through almost every entry made by the doctors and nurses, and almost every sentence of the admission and discharge summary. It's good start off reading everything, because as you go, you begin to skim through the paragraphs and pick out only the necessary words. Alhamdulillah, I've reached that stage and I mostly don't have to read the stories, but even so, sometimes I come across a record that has such a story that I start following it without intending to or realisingit.

I've read some horrible stories. Before this, I had no idea, not even given it a thought, as to what kind of situations in life could lead a person to seek mental health treatment. There are some shocking stories out there. Vetarens that have recurring images of war in their minds, some vets who are certain that they murdered an innocent person, people attempting suicide or wishing they didn't live anymore, people cutting themselves or other kinds of self harm, schizoaffective and schizophrenic patients acting and thinking things that would be torture for me if I were in there place.

These are only the types of stories that will not make you cringe when you hear them. I've read stories that I really think I should never be exposed to. These are the stories you just have to skim over. You are likely to regret it if you give in and start reading the stories. Because they don't just stay on the page as just a story. They are connected to real people. Someone out there actually went through such misery to lead them to think that may be they are too broken to be able to cope without professional assistant. And not just seek it once or twice, but some need to come back year after year, being admitted may be at least once every year.

Even thought I skim throught it, picking up the main story is mostly unavoidable. And so, knowing that this is the story of a real person every time I code, I sometimes don't want to ignore it. I feel somewhat inhumane to do that. And it goes without saying that you would get affected by these stories, no matter how much you try to ignore. I had a dream tonight that I was quite late for work because I was on the phone with another company that was offering me an interview. During the call I was interrupted by my own self that was speaking in a different style than me. It was like having a three-way phone conversation, except I was not speaking while my other self spoke. And before I knew it, it was past 1pm by the time the conversation finished, of which I was "unconscious" for the last 4 hours or so. I realised at the end of it that I was going through a schizophrenic episode throughout that time.

I'll admit, that's not the only way these stories affect me. But it's probably best not get into it for fear of further alienation.

But then again, who am I talking to anyway? It's only me out here. Hopefully.

Friday, August 21, 2009

AWW - there is something wrong with this concept...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Oh yes. I'm obsessed.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Narrated Ibn 'Umar (R): I heard Allah's Messenger (S) saying,

"Allah will bring a believer near Him and shelter him with His Screen and ask him: 'Did you commit such and such sins?' He will say: 'Yes, my Lord". Allah will keep on asking him till he will confess all his sins and will think that he is ruined. Allah will say: 'I did screen your sins in the world and I forgive them for you today', and then he will be given the book (record) of his good deeds. Regarding disbelievers and hypocrites (their evil acts will be exposed publicly) the witnesses will say: 'These are the ones who lied against their Lord. No doubt! The Curse of Allah is on the Zalimun."

Reported in Sahih Al-Bukhari

Thursday, August 13, 2009

やっぱり 夢だ!!!

স্বপ্নটা এমনই সত্যি লাগলো যে আমি টেবিলে আমার লামী সাফারী কলমটা খোঁজা শুরু করলাম!
হায়! আমাকে কেন এমন একটা গিফট কেউ করে না?

May be I should try to force it out of E2. Perfect victim! Muahahaha!!!


... One should go to sleep when one is intoxicated by the coming of the humble night.