AL: (to class) What's the command for allowing privilege to your database?
ND: (instantly) grant.
[Giggle giggle]
AL: (to class) What is the command for changing privileges for your database?
ND: (again, instantly) revoke and grant.
[Giggle giggle]
AL: (to ND) Are you looking at the answers in your book?
ND: Nope.
[Giggle giggle]
AL: Ok, good. (to class) So, what is the command to take away privilege to your database?
ND: (once again, instantly) revoke.
[Giggle giggle]
AL: (to class) Last one. What is the command to display all your privilages?
ND: (instantly) sp_helprotect.
[Giggle giggle]
AL: Good! Excellent! Now, this table can be found in your manual on paaage .... (flipping through the book)
ND: (instantly) 71.
[Class breaks out in laughter]
Worth going to class for
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
(dis)Order in the Court!!!
Emailed:
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last one.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
=======
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
=======
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've
forgotten?
======
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
======
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
======
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
=====
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
=====
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
=====
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
=====
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A :Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
=====
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
=====
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
=====
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
=====
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
=====
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
=====
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
=====
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q:And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
====
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
=====
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent - don't miss the last one.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
=======
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
=======
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've
forgotten?
======
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
======
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
======
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
=====
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
=====
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
=====
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
=====
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A :Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
=====
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
=====
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
=====
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
=====
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
=====
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
=====
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
=====
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q:And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
====
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
=====
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
Saturday, June 09, 2007
some things are more fun to remember than to forget
Who have u been tkling 2? Get ur skinny lil behind on msn! NOW! - 20-May-05
U!! Im regreting the day i gave u my link. Y dot u enlighten me as 2 hu this anon is? 31-May-05
Salam emu, guess what? i passed! alhamdulillah! i can drive by myself now insha Allah! jazakallah 4 all ur prayers sis! - 26-Aug-05
No worries dear emu. Gues wat? Flynn goes 2 bed in PINK pyjamas! - 18-Oct-05
Wat?! Huh? Wat???Oooooooo! Sb issuch a big mouth!! well u can 2 my house, but ur not gonna c any pink pjz. Mine r green now. So :-P. - 18-Oct-05
Salam, sad news. Blackie and Blinky died 2day. The heat was 2 much 4 them. None of da family can sleep well 2nite :'-( - 2-Jun-06
HEELLLPPP!!!!FOB hitting on me. Quick call me emu.Save meeee! - 21-Jeb-06
HAHAHAHA!!*rolls on train floor*y, emu- wat indecent activities hv u been engaging in?!?!Rolf again! - 15-Mar-06
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!lady,kemon lagtese tor? bura bura feeling hochche taina!lady shon"kache eshe pashe bosho debo tomai ador"tui raate ghumanor agge ekta jinish imagine korbi!tui vebe nibi ami tor shamne ekta golap fool ar ekta narikel niye darai asi!ar boltesi "cholona ghure ashi ojanate,jekhane nodi eshe themegeche"kmon laglo?ami jani ti amake kokono dump korina cos i knw the tecnikz;p may Allah pour his blesings upon u!may Allah giv u a long life!tc! - 17-Mar-06
Laughin so hard, tearsa r cumin outta me eyes!!Maybe u shud reply or call, Just as a precaution 2 whoeva it is.
hehehehehehehe.My day is much betta now.Lol! - 21-May-06
"SHUVO SHOKAL"janai tore,LADDY!!how iz my lady doing!??ekkha gana shunai tore,"hattimatim tim,tara mathe pare dim, tader ache duto shing,tara hattimatim tim"Tc - 19-Jun-06
Steve irwin is dead, killed by a sting ray this morning in QLD - 4-Sep-06
Salam cat-starver! Thank u 4 the early b-day present. Didn't ask 4 it-jokes. Wait til I get bak lol (ur stil cumin 2 my house though). Mejoapu sed 2 say we didn't arrive safely not! We did. Ok wake sure u don't starve poor cheeky! Salamz...R****(da best not) - 18-Mar-07
Make a private place for yourself in this world, because fascinating things will be presented to you.Know them and be on your guard, and do not be harmed by withdrawing from preoccupations while you are among them.-(Ibn Qayyin)"Verily in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest."tc love u xxx - 26-Apr-07
'....and know that Allah cometh in between a man and his heart, and that it is He to Whom we shall all be gathered.' -8:24'Say:'Nothing will happen to us expect what Allah has decided for us:He is our Protector' :and on Allah let the Believers put their trust.'-9:51 - 30-May-07
Congratulations. Tis the bilionth sms u sent me that i have no idea how to interpret.NANI SORE?!? - 4-Jun-07
How abt i let u know wen ur msgs begin 2 make sense. Less sms-ing 4 me. Dnt becom a doormat, ok? - 4-Jun-07
Wow. Kirei desu ne?Uws c'town de lake ga arimasu? Shinjite nai.*wow. Its pretty isnt it? Theres a lake in UWS c'town? Cnt believe it.* - 4-Jun-07
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Below is a letter written by an iraqi girl after the tragic 7 July 2005 London bombings, were a series of coordinated terrorist bomb blasts hit London's public transport system during the morning rush hour.
ALthough it's addressed to the British people, it is a message for the world community, and that includes you!!
Forget for once your nationality, your race, your religion or the lack of it, your political discourse, our differences, and only be conscious of your humanity. Then take a glance at this letter.
Just one glance.....
I amm sending this letter to the British people and in particular to the residents of London. For a period of hours, you have lived through moments of desperate anxiety and horror. In those hours you lost a member of your family or a friend, and we wish to tell you in total honesty that we too grieve when human lives pass away. I cannot tell you how much we hurt when we see desperation and pain on the face of another person. For we have lived through this situation and continue to live through it every day since your country and the United States formed an alliance and laid plans to attack Iraq.
The Prime Minister of your country, Tony Blair, said that those who carried out the explosions did so in the name of Islam. The Secretary of State of the United States, Condaleezza Rice, described the bombings as an act of barbarism. The United Nations Security Council met and unanimously condemned the event.
I would like to ask you, the free British people, to allow me to inquire: in whose name was our country blockaded for 12 years? In whose name were our cities bombed using internationally prohibited weapons? In whose name did the British army kill Iraqis and torture them? Was that in your name? Or in the name of religion? Or humanity? Or freedom? Or democracy?
What do you call the killing of more than two million children? What do you call the pollution of the soil and the water with depleted uranium and other lethal substances?
What do you call what happened in the prisons in Iraq in Abu Ghraib, Camp Bucca and the many other prison camps? What do you call the torture of men, women, and children? What do you call tying bombs to the bodies of prisoners and blowing them apart? What do you call the refinement of methods of torture for use on Iraqi prisoners such as pulling off limbs, gouging out eyes, putting out cigarettes on their skin, and using cigarette lighters to set fire to the hair on their heads? Does the word "barbaric" adequately describe the behavior of your troops in Iraq?
May we ask why the Security Council did not condemn the massacre in al-Amiriyah and what happened in al-Fallujah, Tal'afar, Sadr City, and an-Najaf? Why does the world watch as our people are killed and tortured and not condemn the crimes being committed against us? Are you human beings and we something less? Do you think that only you can feel pain and we can't? In fact it is we who are most aware of how intense is the pain of the mother who has lost her child, or the father who has lost his family. We know very well how painful it is to lose those you love.
You don't know our martyrs, but we know them. You don't remember them, but we remember them. You don't cry over them, but we cry over them.
Have you heard the name of the little girl Hannan Salih Matrud? Or of the boy Ahmad Jabir Karim? Or Sa'id Shabram?
Yes, our dead have names too. They have faces and stories and memories. There was a time when they were among us, laughing and playing. They had dreams, just as you have. They had a tomorrow awaiting them. But today they sleep among us with no tomorrow on which to wake.
We don't hate the British people or the peoples of the world. This war was imposed upon us, but we are now fighting it in defense of our selves. Because we want to live in our homeland the free land of Iraq and to live as we want to live, not as your government or the American government wish.
Let the families of those killed know that responsibility for the Thursday morning London bombings lies with Tony Blair and his policies. Stop your war against our people! Stop the daily killing that your troops commit! End your occupation of our homeland!
Iman al-Saadun, Friday, 8 July 2005
ALthough it's addressed to the British people, it is a message for the world community, and that includes you!!
Forget for once your nationality, your race, your religion or the lack of it, your political discourse, our differences, and only be conscious of your humanity. Then take a glance at this letter.
Just one glance.....
I amm sending this letter to the British people and in particular to the residents of London. For a period of hours, you have lived through moments of desperate anxiety and horror. In those hours you lost a member of your family or a friend, and we wish to tell you in total honesty that we too grieve when human lives pass away. I cannot tell you how much we hurt when we see desperation and pain on the face of another person. For we have lived through this situation and continue to live through it every day since your country and the United States formed an alliance and laid plans to attack Iraq.
The Prime Minister of your country, Tony Blair, said that those who carried out the explosions did so in the name of Islam. The Secretary of State of the United States, Condaleezza Rice, described the bombings as an act of barbarism. The United Nations Security Council met and unanimously condemned the event.
I would like to ask you, the free British people, to allow me to inquire: in whose name was our country blockaded for 12 years? In whose name were our cities bombed using internationally prohibited weapons? In whose name did the British army kill Iraqis and torture them? Was that in your name? Or in the name of religion? Or humanity? Or freedom? Or democracy?
What do you call the killing of more than two million children? What do you call the pollution of the soil and the water with depleted uranium and other lethal substances?
What do you call what happened in the prisons in Iraq in Abu Ghraib, Camp Bucca and the many other prison camps? What do you call the torture of men, women, and children? What do you call tying bombs to the bodies of prisoners and blowing them apart? What do you call the refinement of methods of torture for use on Iraqi prisoners such as pulling off limbs, gouging out eyes, putting out cigarettes on their skin, and using cigarette lighters to set fire to the hair on their heads? Does the word "barbaric" adequately describe the behavior of your troops in Iraq?
May we ask why the Security Council did not condemn the massacre in al-Amiriyah and what happened in al-Fallujah, Tal'afar, Sadr City, and an-Najaf? Why does the world watch as our people are killed and tortured and not condemn the crimes being committed against us? Are you human beings and we something less? Do you think that only you can feel pain and we can't? In fact it is we who are most aware of how intense is the pain of the mother who has lost her child, or the father who has lost his family. We know very well how painful it is to lose those you love.
You don't know our martyrs, but we know them. You don't remember them, but we remember them. You don't cry over them, but we cry over them.
Have you heard the name of the little girl Hannan Salih Matrud? Or of the boy Ahmad Jabir Karim? Or Sa'id Shabram?
Yes, our dead have names too. They have faces and stories and memories. There was a time when they were among us, laughing and playing. They had dreams, just as you have. They had a tomorrow awaiting them. But today they sleep among us with no tomorrow on which to wake.
We don't hate the British people or the peoples of the world. This war was imposed upon us, but we are now fighting it in defense of our selves. Because we want to live in our homeland the free land of Iraq and to live as we want to live, not as your government or the American government wish.
Let the families of those killed know that responsibility for the Thursday morning London bombings lies with Tony Blair and his policies. Stop your war against our people! Stop the daily killing that your troops commit! End your occupation of our homeland!
Iman al-Saadun, Friday, 8 July 2005
Friday, June 01, 2007
Individual
I feel the need to express my frustration....
Of all the around me that can be considered "close friends" none asked me "Doshita?" outright. Someone who I hardly ever see noticed me sitting unusually quiet and asked my the second she got the chance to speak to me properly and offered to listen to any garbage I have.
And when I say "close friend", I mean people who I've known and seen for years, whereas I've known the other for only about 2 years (and probably about 3/4 times every two months).
And yes, (here's where I become a pest and start talking about myself ... more than usual), I have been particularly down lately because of a reason that can traumatise people under particular circumtances (eg, knowing me ... and more). For the sake of the good peoples' sanity, particularly that of my newfound friend, I'll keep them to myself and ... nurture ... them ...
(.....aaand here's where I finish making no sense)
Of all the around me that can be considered "close friends" none asked me "Doshita?" outright. Someone who I hardly ever see noticed me sitting unusually quiet and asked my the second she got the chance to speak to me properly and offered to listen to any garbage I have.
And when I say "close friend", I mean people who I've known and seen for years, whereas I've known the other for only about 2 years (and probably about 3/4 times every two months).
And yes, (here's where I become a pest and start talking about myself ... more than usual), I have been particularly down lately because of a reason that can traumatise people under particular circumtances (eg, knowing me ... and more). For the sake of the good peoples' sanity, particularly that of my newfound friend, I'll keep them to myself and ... nurture ... them ...
(.....aaand here's where I finish making no sense)
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